People are Just as Afraid of You as You are of Them
When I first started as a Door Greeter, my managers told me to be sure to say hi or introduce myself to every single customer or group of customers that came in.
Being me, I was scared as hell. But I persevered and said, “Hi there” to thousands upon thousands of people. Eventually I wasn’t scared at all, and it was sort of amusing watching their reactions.
Some people were clearly scared as hell of me, even though I am not a very intimidating person.
Some people pretended you weren’t there. They weren’t deaf - if you said something they’d look at you and then go back to perusing, but they’d act like you hadn’t said anything. And they tried to minimize their reaction, as if they hadn’t heard anything. Sometimes it bordered on ridiculous.
Me: Hi there.
Person: (Looks at me, turns to other side of the store)
Me: If there’s anything I can help you with, just let me know.
Person: (Eyes look up. Goes back to browsing our new stock)
Me: Okay, have lots of fun! I hope you like… our shirts.
Person: (No reaction)
Me: Pants, too. We have pants. Check ‘em out.
Other than that, people were mostly normal. Old ladies seemed to be the nicest. Middle-aged men seemed to be the “nicest on the surface but were actually really weird/insane/racist/etc.” Example:
Man: (Browsing shirts) These are pretty nice, they’re not on sale, eh?
Me: No, sorry. Our sale stuff is at the back. There are usually a few gems back there you can find.
Man: Oh, okay. Cool, cool.
(Silence as he browses. A woman walks by.)
Man: God-damn. She’s a skinny one! Flat as a goddamn plank.
Me: Uh…
I wish I could also say that I dealt with a lot of really crazy people. I’ve read a number of rather fantastical stories on various internet forums, but alas - old, sexist guys are about as exciting as it got for me as a Door Greeter.
Looking Nice != Efficient, Good, or Useful
Have you ever seen the shirts at Gap? Aren’t the folded all nice and pretty? A lot of time and effort goes into the folding of all those pretty shirts. Like, a lot of effort. It’s pretty much all you do all day.
If a manager comes and you’re not talking to a customer or folding: God help you. And you better be excited to fold those shirts. It’s the excitement that makes the difference, apparently.
Once I learned to fold at Gap I tried to fold the same way at home. This does not work. Sure it looks alright in your closet, but:
- It takes way too long.
- You get fold lines in all the worst places.
I still haven’t figured out how to fold clothes quickly and efficiently in a way that keeps them from having lines in all the wrong places on my shirts.
Shoplifting is Some Kind of Science I Don’t Understand
Because it was downtown Kingston, we got a lot of shop lifters. Sometimes they were relatively discrete (in fact, I would suspect a great many of them were - we simply didn’t catch them at all), but some were hilariously obvious in their intentions.
One guy grabbed a pile of jeans, ran out, and then began selling the jeans on the street corner 3/4 of a block down.
One fellow grabbed some stuff, ran, and leapt over a baby in a baby carriage on his way out.
One lady came in and stole from us pretty much every few days. The managers really hated her, but I guess she was just so good she never got caught.
Gap Thinks Its Employees are Shoplifters
This seems to be a common theme in retail, but Gap really likes to tell their employees that half of us are evil shoplifters. It’s really hammered home in the training videos.
Like a Drill Sergeant standing in front of a group of new recruits and saying, “Look to your left. Look to your right. At least one of the people standing next to you will try to steal from this fine retail outlet.”
“And I will catch them,” he adds.
Whenever you left the store at the end of your shift or for a break, Gap required that you get escorted out. A manager or someone else higher in rank than you goes through your bags, and then pads down your coat. It’s really annoying. Especially when you only have a 15 minute break, you really want to grab a coffee from Tim Horton’s, and it takes 10 minutes for a manager to be available.
But Gap employees steal all the time. It’s a necessary precaution.
I never, ever saw evidence of this when I worked there. Where were these evil employees? My coworkers seemed like generally pretty nice people.
Whenever it was learned that a customer had just successfully strolled out the door with a pair of socks stuff down the front of their pants, we all shook are heads. One of us would say, “I tell ya, some people.” And then we all shook our heads some more.
Then someone else would say something like, “I just don’t understand the psychology of these shoplifters.”
More head shakes.
Was it all an act? Was one us nodding our head sadly and secretly thinking, “I understand them. I understand them only too well…”
To be honest, it really, really wouldn’t surprise me. I’m not a pessimist. I believe people have the capacity to do great things. I also happen to think that there are a lot of people who don’t feel bad stealing.
